| Column A | Column B |
| Dolly Parton | Madonna |
| Jimmy Fallon | Jimmy Kimmel |
| Lizzo | Beyonce |
| Keanu Reeves | Tom Cruise |
| Sandra Bullock | Angelina Jolie |
| What’s the difference between Column A and Column B? Can you guess? Think about what it would be like to meet each celebrity. Do you have a feeling that you and everyone in Column A would somehow… hit it off? Like, you don’t want to bother them or anything, but if you both got stuck in an elevator, the conversation would probably go pretty well. That is charm. Dolly Parton and Keanu Reeves are charming celebrities because they make you feel like they’d like you. On the other hand, I would be just as thrilled to see an appearance any of the celebrities in Column B, but I don’t think they’d be very thrilled to meet me afterwards. I’d hang on every word they said and if they shared any insights or advice, I’d pay attention, retell the story with others and hold on to their wisdom. That is charisma. Although the terms charm and charisma seem interchangeable, I’ve recently learned that they are slightly different skills. I geek out on this kind of differentiation. (See my previous newsletter on the difference between luck, fortune, and chance.) While charm and charisma are both attractive qualities, charm is winning people over in smaller interpersonal settings. It’s a lot of the likability skills we teach in improv, which are about focusing on the other person, listening to understand, being playful and positive in responses. Charisma, by contrast, operates on a larger scale and is something we often see in political and business leaders. The equation for charisma is competence plus warmth. It’s a dynamism that draws people to your cause and rallies them behind you. Like many things, this can best be explained through Simpsons characters: |
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Both charm and charisma can be used to move people to action, though charisma works on a larger scale. Both have played a large role in US politics for a long time. I remember in 2000 when George W. Bush was running against Al Gore, people were talking about which candidate they’d like to have a beer with–essentially, a charm test. Even in my early 20’s, I thought that was a ridiculous way to select the person who decides national policies. Sure Al Gore was a Debbie Downer about Climate Change, but imagine really starting to tackle that existential problem 25 years ago! At the same time, politicians can be more effective when they use charm to directly persuade others to their point of view. |
| Now, politicians need both charm and charisma. Charm helps them directly reach their audience through close-up cameras on social media, and charisma helps them tackle large-scale speeches and rallies. Improv teaches the warmth part, but the competence part people have to figure out in their own field or context. This is partly why improv training is so beneficial for leaders and area experts: they already have the competence, they just need to add the warmth. |
| In videos online, UK Comedian Jimmy Carr says you are either one or the other, and it’s good to know which. He says charm is “I come to you” while charisma is “You come to me.” Carr says it’s a great reason to learn stand-up comedy: you find out which you are. So what do you think? Are you charming, or charismatic? Both or neither? Did I get any celebrities wrong? Who would you add to the list? |
